Five Things You Can Do Right Now To Help Your Child at School

Is your young child's teacher trying to force your star-shaped child into a square hole? Is she killing his self confidence and inner beauty? Is it hard for you to see your sweet, small child be crushed under unrealistic expectations and rules at school? Do you find yourself convincing your stressed-out child to go to school?

Five Things You Can Do Right Now To Help Your Child at School:

1- Understand the School Teacher

Teacher's today are under enormous stress to meet certain academic criteria and help the class as a unit progress. I bet your child's teacher would love to have each child creatively blossom in his own unique way. But the sad reality is quite different.

She has between 25-40 kids in one classroom, she has to be a Nazi to retain discipline, and she has to show academic achievements scores each quarter. There is great pressure from the system and parents to have children reach high scores and academic excellence. No wonder she can't connect with your child in an ideal, individualized manner. Can you blame her?

As soon as we understand that today's teachers have their hands tied behind their backs, we can be more empathetic. I can't tell you how many passionate, idealistic teachers I've spoken to; who have lost their spark because the school system demands on them left no room for it to shine.

She is a person, doing her job, in the best way she knows how. If we can see her in this light, we may find we are better able to connect to her as a person. And thus, better able to help our children through her.

2- Work with the School Teacher

Your child's teacher is a treasure chest of insider information. She watches your child, day in day out at school. She understands the demands and expectations at school and in her class and may know, specifically, what is blocking your child from reaching his greatest self. She's also walked hundreds of kids through this exact acclimation process at school. Learn from her wisdom, gain from her insight, and benefit from her expertise.

Include her in the changes you see in your child and ask her what she sees during the day at school. Together, build a plan of how to help your child at school academically, socially, and emotionally.

3- Become the Teacher's Best Friend

I'm serious here.

Often, parents feel that the teacher at school is the main problem. She (or the school she represents) may be too demanding, too harsh, too soft, too grade-focused, or too whatever. Bottom line is this: Your child's school teacher can make his life heaven or hell.

Do everything you can to make her an asset. Send her sweet thank you notes, send her fresh baked cookies to school, or give little holiday gifts. Volunteer at school to help her out with something. Do whatever you need to politically to make this master of the universe care about you and your family.

4- Love your Teacher Publicly

When we feel that our child's teacher is harming our child, our instincts go wild. Ever cell in our body screams to save our child from that heart-less monster and that outrageous school. Now, we've already established that your teacher holds the fate of the world in her hands.

Therefore, listen to your child's concerns but always, always, always speak kindly of the teacher in front of your child. Your child needs to know from you that his teacher is a friend who is there to help him achieve academically at school. If her ways seems uncomfortable to us, we'll work on it together. We'll find the solution, as a parent, teacher, and student team.

If you vocalize criticism about his teacher or lower her authority or esteem in any way; you are creating a vacuum that your child will be sucked into. Stand behind your child and help while always respecting the teacher's status at school.

5- Use School-related Resources Wisely

Tread carefully while gaining valuable information. I put this one last intentionally.

Speak to parents at school whose children have been in her class before you.

  • What did they like? What did they not like?
  • How did they eventually gain from the teacher's teaching style, discipline methods, and general outlook?
  • Did their kids have any problems and how did they solve it?
  • What advise could they give you to help your child do better in this learning environment at school?

Talk to the school counselor. Share your concerns as politically correct as you can. If you don't find the help you need, turn to the school principal. Here, don't be shy and don't be politically correct. Share your entire truth and ask her for her professional discretion. If your teacher's child is disrespectful or damaging your child's spark in life; you need to do all you can to fix the issues, and now. You may be surfacing information that needs to be known.

  1. What is the one most critical step I can take towards resolving this issue?
  2. What is it here that bothers/hurts/frustrates me the most here?
  3. Image courtesy of [stockphotos] /
 We at Successful Modern Child are determined to share our success-building respectful, effective, and loving communication tools with others parents and educators. Help us help others raise successful modern children. We welcome you to forward this article to others or use it in your newsletter, blog, or site. Simply copy and paste with the following credit line: This article was written for parents and educators by family communication expert Gabi at

SMC was created by Gabi, MA in Psychology, International Parenting Expert and Family Therapist. Gabi's research into raising successful modern children has taken her around the world. She has taught and inspired groups in Israel, USA, Panama, Peru, and Cambodia. Gabi guides parents to their fullest light around the globe in group teleconference and live workshops. Gabi also takes a very limited number of one-on-one clients for transformational parenting, family, life, and trauma therapy. You may reach Gabi directly at

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